come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
