the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
