My hand turned me down
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just high enough for therapy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
