Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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