STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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