Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
