Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
