Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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