I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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