There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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