U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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