I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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