I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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