very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
