grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
