actually, I'm a sock model
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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