Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
