shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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