Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
