I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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