Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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