don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
