Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
