Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
