You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
