It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
