You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
