And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
