Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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