it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
