this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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