a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
