How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
