I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
