I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
