I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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