Dual....:-)
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
