Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
