My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
