I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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