I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
