I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
