yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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