Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
