im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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