VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
