just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
