there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
