yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
