let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
