I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
