There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
false alarm, still single
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